Vegetarian Star

Prince Fielder‘s success at the ballpark is so sought after, the Brewers are willing to do anything they can to retain him, including giving him a salary increase at the expense of the residents in Wisconsin, according to OnMilwaukee.

A vegetarian tax is being proposed, with a 5% charge on such items.

But Republican representative Scott Newcomer is certain the pinch will hardly be felt by those that eat the food.

“These vegetarians are wired a little differently. Most of them live on the East Side and they wear funky T-shirts and beat up old sandals, but you know they have money.”

“You have to be affluent to be a vegetarian. They pay extra for organic produce and free-range bean curd. I don’t even think they’ll notice the extra charge.”

With Fielder’s success on the field, you’d think more people would be encouraging vegetarianism as they see not only is the diet tasty, but can physically support the endeavors of a major league baseball player.

But some people are apparently worried about their cows.

Jeffrey Mursau, a Republican from Crivitz, said, “This is a no-brainer for me, given that there are a lot of cattle and dairy farms in my district,” he said. “People up north don’t trust anyone who doesn’t eat meat. And frankly, I find soy stupid.”

“I think this tax is a great idea because real Brewers fans eat bratwurst. They don’t want expensive tofu dogs that taste like cardboard.”

One final April Fool’s story to add to the day’s mix.

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Tila Tequilla

Tila Tequila got caught in a very inappropriate position.

Out shopping for the day, Tequila stopped by the meat section of the grocery store and appeared to be contemplating if she was going to be a breast, leg or thigh girl for the day.

Definitely not cool.

The potential e. coli, hormones and antibiotics surrounding Tequila at that moment were waaaay dirtier than that outfit.

Such a shame, considering she’s already passionate about not wearing fur, as was evident in her column for Global Grind, Hot Girls Fake It For The Animals.

Tila Tequila

Then again, the photos might motivate some to stay away from the aisle, as zeitgeistyreport suggests.

“Ewww… just…ewww. I remember when ‘Babe’ first came out, it turned me off meat for like 9 months, I think these photos will be the impetus for me to go vegan forever. I hope they fumigated the whole meat section after she finished up her little photo shoot. I don’t wanna hear on the 6 o’clock news that a slew Los Angeles carnivores came down with a case of skank.”

Here’s hoping Tequila’s next writing assignment investigates factory farms and the impact on eating animals on the earth, so in the future she’ll be showing a little less real meat.

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Katy Perry has a very healthful habit of consuming mushrooms (presumably the non hallucinogenic ones).

“I love mushrooms,” she said. “I could eat a ton of them. I really love truffles but I hardly ever get them. Mushrooms in general though are so healthy and good for you. I can’t get enough.”

Perhaps Perry could stuff more shrooms down her throat and less of her other favorite foods, which are filled with animal fat, saturated fat, cholesterol and more.

“My fave things include barbeque chicken chop at CPK Chinese, chicken salad at Chinchins, Rock shrimp and yellow tail sashimi at Nobu, Crispy beef at Mr.Chow’s, four curry chicken salad at Urth Cafe, my beloved double double at In-N-Out Burger. All so good!”

Oh, my.

Perry is engaged to vegetarian Russell Brand, who hopefully will exercise his powers of being the man of the house and say “No, no, no!” to Perry’s chicken a day and double double vice.

Hmm…was that sexist?

At any rate, kudos to Perry for liking mushrooms, a plant that has been indicated in boosting immunity.

“Studies show that mushrooms increase the production and activity of white blood cells, making them more aggressive. This is a good thing when you have an infection,” said Douglas Schar, DipPhyt, MCPP, MNIMH, director of the Institute of Herbal Medicine in Washington, DC.

So do what Schar said and load up on shiitake, portabello, cremini and even white button.

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X17 Online claims they caught Anne Hathaway going through the In-N Out Drive through.

Hathaway has been reportedly trying to stick to a mostly vegan diet.

In the picture on the site, it looks like Hathaway’s friend is the only one caught carrying the burger bag.

More importantly though, when is In-N-Out going to get with it and offer veggie burger selections on the menus like other traditional fast food burger joints who have learned to do the same (aka. Burger King).

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Remember that million dollar challenge Phil Ivey took from Tom Dwan?

You know, the one where Ivey wouldn’t eat “anything that moves” for a year?

According to Cake Poker, Danish poker magazine Ace interviewd Dwan for next month’s issue and revealed a plate of chicken Ivey encountered while having dinner with friends took the poker player down.

That’s pretty pathetic considering the chicken was already dead.

Although Ivey held out for three weeks, “He couldn’t handle it,” Dwan told Ace. “He realized he couldn’t keep it up for a full year.”

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Kelly Bensimon revealed the disgusting details of how she prepped for her photo shoot for Playboy.

The Real Housewives of New York City star told US Magazine that she ate nothing but chicken to make her body look full and voluptuous.

“I literally drank beer — Corona — and ate chicken wings for two weeks!”

Bensimon said that between running and riding horses, she gets really thin, but wanted a different image for the cover.

“I’m pretty full in those pictures, but I like it. That’s really me. That’s what I look like. It’s real,” said Bensimon.

“I want people to enjoy their life, not be starving and going to get a colonic because they think they need to be skinnier.”

Playboy is suppose to turn people on, but the thought of eating a potentially salmonella covered leg ripped from a cute little bird at a factory farm sounds like a real turnoff.

The next time she aims for the full figured Anna Nicole look, Kelly should just load up on some tomato pie dipped in garlic flavored olive oil.

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Time caught up with Rachael Ray at her burger bash at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival, where an “exclusive” chat took place.

“I don’t think I have enough words to declare my love for the burger. I know you always take pains to say hamburgers because you’re a purist. But I think you can make anything you want into a burger. I love tuna burgers, veal burgers, beef burgers.”

Rachael’s no vegetarian, but that’s more burger than even a health conscious flexitarian can handle.

Makes one wonder if any meaty sensational conspiracies were involved.

Vegetarian Star thinks Rachael was interrupted just before she added, “I really, really, really love Texturized Vegetable Protein burgers.”

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Jimmy Kimmel told Ginnifer Goodwin he’s considered going vegetarian, but there’s something about a roast that prevents him from doing so.

“I thought about it. I tried to run it through my head that maybe it’s not a good idea. But then they come out so delicious,” he said.

Ugh!

Horrible humor even for a late night talk show.

But Ginnifer offers some support, explaining the call of meatballs sounds just as sweet as it did years ago.

“I told everybody I did not stop eating animals because I did not like the taste,” Ginnifer said.

Luckily, there’s a solution to both of their problems.

Faux meat! Faux meat! Faux meat!

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