Vegetarian Star

Prince Fielder‘s success at the ballpark is so sought after, the Brewers are willing to do anything they can to retain him, including giving him a salary increase at the expense of the residents in Wisconsin, according to OnMilwaukee.

A vegetarian tax is being proposed, with a 5% charge on such items.

But Republican representative Scott Newcomer is certain the pinch will hardly be felt by those that eat the food.

“These vegetarians are wired a little differently. Most of them live on the East Side and they wear funky T-shirts and beat up old sandals, but you know they have money.”

“You have to be affluent to be a vegetarian. They pay extra for organic produce and free-range bean curd. I don’t even think they’ll notice the extra charge.”

With Fielder’s success on the field, you’d think more people would be encouraging vegetarianism as they see not only is the diet tasty, but can physically support the endeavors of a major league baseball player.

But some people are apparently worried about their cows.

Jeffrey Mursau, a Republican from Crivitz, said, “This is a no-brainer for me, given that there are a lot of cattle and dairy farms in my district,” he said. “People up north don’t trust anyone who doesn’t eat meat. And frankly, I find soy stupid.”

“I think this tax is a great idea because real Brewers fans eat bratwurst. They don’t want expensive tofu dogs that taste like cardboard.”

One final April Fool’s story to add to the day’s mix.

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Pescatarians rejoice, Trader’s Joe’s has announced it will shift to sustainable seafood purchases by the end of 2012.

The company says the decision was based on customer feedback regarding issues of food safety, taste and environmental concerns.

Trader Joe’s has agreed to the follow practices:

• Work with third-party, science-based organizations to establish definitions and parameters for addressing customer concerns about overfishing, destructive catch or production methods, and the importance of marine reserves.
• Remove “red-listed” seafood from their shelves. Trader Joe’s stopped selling Chilean sea bass in 2005, orange roughy in July of 2009, and red snapper in March of 2010.
• Provide accurate information on all seafood labels, including species’ Latin names, origin and catch or production method.
• Use their buying power to leverage change in the seafood industry.

The decision has been applauded by Greenpeace, which issued a statement on their website.

“We applaud Trader Joe’s commitment to creating a strong sustainable seafood policy. We are particularly happy to see Trader Joe’s acknowledge that we need marine reserves, and that species like Orange Roughy and Chilean sea bass are incompatible with a sustainable seafood operation. We know their customers will appreciate their recent statement of intent. After all, seafood consumers deserve access to transparent, accurate information about the products they choose,” said Senior Markets Campaigner Casson Trenor.”

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As a reminder, Comedy for Karma, a show featuring several well known comedians benefiting Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary,  is tonight at 8PM at the Gotham Comedy Club.

A couple of years ago, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog spoke to Doug Abel from the sanctuary on who picks up the poop at the sanctuary, the politically correct definition for an animal that hasn’t yet been adopted, why animal rights activists are so dorky and more.

A good laugh is promised if you watch the clip above, courtesy of Supervegan.

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Tila Tequilla

Tila Tequila got caught in a very inappropriate position.

Out shopping for the day, Tequila stopped by the meat section of the grocery store and appeared to be contemplating if she was going to be a breast, leg or thigh girl for the day.

Definitely not cool.

The potential e. coli, hormones and antibiotics surrounding Tequila at that moment were waaaay dirtier than that outfit.

Such a shame, considering she’s already passionate about not wearing fur, as was evident in her column for Global Grind, Hot Girls Fake It For The Animals.

Tila Tequila

Then again, the photos might motivate some to stay away from the aisle, as zeitgeistyreport suggests.

“Ewww… just…ewww. I remember when ‘Babe’ first came out, it turned me off meat for like 9 months, I think these photos will be the impetus for me to go vegan forever. I hope they fumigated the whole meat section after she finished up her little photo shoot. I don’t wanna hear on the 6 o’clock news that a slew Los Angeles carnivores came down with a case of skank.”

Here’s hoping Tequila’s next writing assignment investigates factory farms and the impact on eating animals on the earth, so in the future she’ll be showing a little less real meat.

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When one spouse turns vegetarian, life may be a little difficult for the remaining carnivorous one.

Who will cook the local insects, for example.

In Dear Abby‘s April Fool’s edition, a man from Arkansas complains about his vegetarian wife, who gained weight and refuses to kill the roaches around the house.

What’s Abby’s advice?

“I’ll let you know if I hear from anyone who wants to weigh in on your problem. But in the meantime, you’ll have to cook your own steaks and kill your own insects.”

Arkansas Carnivore should give the No Kill Bugbuster to his wife for her birthday or their next anniversary.

Vegetarian Star recommends giving it sooner as a surprise, “Just because I love you,” gift before the bugs multiply any more.

The wife can suck up the bugs and transplant them elsewhere without having to compromise on her no kill philosophy.

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Just like Joe Camel moved to live with all the other cancer and emphysema stricken senior citizens in Florida, some are calling for the retirement of Ronald McDonald, a 50 year old icon that has surely pushed many into obesity, heart disease and other health ailments.

Corporate Accountability International has kicked off a campaign to retire the hamburger clown that was designed to appeal to children.

“McDonald’s, and its iconic clown, is not only the face of the epidemic: it is the engine behind it. No corporation has done more to hook kids on unhealthy food,” said Stacey Folsom, spokeswoman for Corporate Accountability International.

Although they’ve contacted McDonald’s about their wishes, they haven’t received an answer yet.

One bonus, according to SF Gate, is that Ronald McDonald’s image doesn’t appear as often on McDonald’s website.

Maybe his title has changed to hamburger emeritus.

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Livia Firth got involved in being green three years ago, and more recently she discovered Jonathan Safran Foer, author of the book, Eating Animals, that made her rethink her eating habits.

“I recently read an interview with Jonathan Safran Foer, who wrote the book, Eating Animals, about becoming a vegetarian,” Firth told Ecostiletto. “He pointed out that if you eat meat only one day less a week it’s the equivalent of taking five million cars off the road.”

Firth insists that anyone can make the most of their buying habits, regardless of their budget.

“Once you know these things it becomes less about what background and money you have—it’s about how you behave as a consumer.”

“Instead of buying an economy pack of chicken and eating that every day, eat pasta or vegetables and buy organic chicken once a week.”

Firth tries to buy local and organic whenever possible and has three veggie beds in her garden, something she’s been doing since childhood without attaching the label “green” to it.

“As Italians, the way we grew up was just that way—we cooked only fresh, locally produced food. It just came naturally.”

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As previously reported, Jennie Garth has become involved with Veggie Central, in an effort to help parents get their children to eat more vegetables.

Garth said she was surprised to learn that so many kids’ idea of fruit is a fruit rollup and that vegetables are often scarce on the plate.

“I was shocked to find out how many kids are not provided with fruits and vegetables every day, which is why I was happy to be a part of this campaign.”

Besides growing her own produce at home, Garth also employs techniques to sneak vegetables into meals, something she learned from Missy Chase Lapine‘s book, The Sneaky Chef, according to Celebrity Baby Scoop.

“We have our own garden and have a great appreciation for fresh vegetables at our house, but I have been known to use The Sneaky Chef cookbook now and then.”

Garth said that is she could do some things about parenting over again, she would only provide her children with organic foods and wishes she’d never introduce her daughter Fiona to sugar.

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