Vegetarian Star

Twitter Wit: Brilliance in 140 Characters or Less, is a book compiled by Nick Douglas that showcases some of the funniest Tweets to comedians like Margaret Cho, Michael Showalter, and Paula Poundstone.

Punchline magazine has shared a few to warm up your funny bone, which include some hilarious vegetarian themed thoughts.

Like a Tweet made to Paula Poundstone, suggesting dominating, Type A personality chickens ran the food research labs:

@paulapoundstone My daughter is eating vegetarian chicken nuggets. I’ll bet chickens gathered outside the lab that developed that food. “How’s it coming?”

Or one Tweet to Michael Showalter, which suggests spinach doing questionable activities:

@mshowalter Waitress just said their creamed spinach was “banging.” Now sure how I feel about that.

Twitter Wit is available September 8th.

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The current recipe entry in Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop newsletter features a vegan B.L.T., or BLAT (Bacon Lettuce Avocado and Tomato) complete with her favorite mayonnaise substitute, Vegenaise.

Gwyneth says it best in the introduction to the recipe:

“This MAKE is for my no-dairy, no-meat, no-white flour (if you omit the croutons) loving friends who are looking for a quick, casual summer lunch. Proof that vegan food rocks!”

Yes, girlfriend, this sandwich does rock, and there’s a beautiful food porn picture of the stacked vegan goodness at Goop.com.

Gwyneth compliments that BLAT entry with un-Caesar salad-Caesar salad minus egg yolks and anchovies-and homemade rosemary and thyme croutons.

It’s all washed down with agave sweetened lemonade.

The best thing about veggie bacon is that it’s missing all the fatty sections that regular bacon has in it, so you get more “meat” in your bite. A good brand to check out is Lightlife Smart Bacon.

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When Elvis Presley passed, they said the King was dead.

Now sadly, the King of Pop has passed as well.

Michael Jackson has died of an apparent cardiac arrest, according to TMZ.com.

“Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We’re told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back. A source tells us Jackson was dead when paramedics arrived. Once at the hospital, the staff tried to resuscitate him but he was completely unresponsive.”

All of us are wondering, what happened?

The man was only 50 years young and had just been examined by doctors before starting his This Is It tour.

His promotion company, AEG, was even considering insuring him themselves, saying “The insurance brokers sent doctors and they spend five hours with him, taking blood tests. He’s a vegetarian, he’s in great shape.”

Words cannot express the lost the world has experienced, but some celebrities have Tweeted their thoughts, like Shanna Moakler:

“The hard thing about getting older is watching all those who inspired you pass, love to the jackson family…”

She couldn’t have summed it up better.

Our thoughts go out to family, friends, and fans. May he rest in peace.

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“It is hard sometimes because some have such great personalities, but you get used to it. It becomes a mind-set where we known these two are staying, these two are going. I also know I’m doing a good thing, because if I kept them, pretty soon I’d have no room to foster anymore. So, I’m saving a lot of lives by sending them along.”

—Vegan Cartoonist Dan Piraro, in an interview with Vegetarian Times for the July/August issue. Dan and his wife, Ashley Lou, bring a zoo of animals into their homes to care for until homes are found. Check out his comics at bizarro.com.

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Kristen Stewart will portray veggie singer and musician Joan Jett in the upcoming film, The Runaways, which portrays Joan’s life and the 70s band she fronted.

And you thought the dark mullet was just a fashion change for the actress who’ll be starring in New Moon, the sequel to Twilight this fall.

Looks like Kristen will be playing a vegetarian again.

Although technically Joan became a vegetarian after the Runaways, she’s been quite active with promoting the lifestyle, whether it’s recording PSAs, visiting farm sanctuaries, or casually mentioning her diet in interviews.

In Twilight, Kristen played vegetarian Bella, the love interest of vegetarian vampire Edward Cullen, who was seen enjoying Garden Burgers with her dad at the local diner in Forks, Washington. She even once told  him he should try one sometime instead of his usual steak.

Coincidence? A “Twilight” moment?

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Sad news for those rooting for John Salley on I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!

Spider legs Salley came in third, behind Torrie Wilson, and Lou Diamond Phillips taking the cake.

Before the final showdown all three finalist had to endure a “jungle spa,” consisting of creepy crawlers, baby crocodiles, and mealworms to win a gourmet meal.

No one was a loser in that round (or perhaps they all were because they had to put up with that) and all three got their grub on.

John had a tofu burger waiting for him, but Torrie’s meal choice wasn’t too shabby either, as she requested a vegetarian pizza. Lou Diamond? Fried chicken! Boo!

Lou’s charity of choice, Art Has Heart Foundation, will get a fat check for his victory. The organization awards scholarships to lower-income high school students.

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Chantelle Houghton gained some extra fame by being a Paris Hilton lookalike, but looks are about where the similarities end.

The Celebrity Big Brother 2006 winner is now following a strict vegan diet, according to a friend, and wants to give other British veg gals like Heather Mills and Leona Lewis a run for their money by launching several lines of  items under her name.

“She’s a strict vegan and is going to launch a new range of food, a make-up range, a perfume and her own swimwear line.”

Go Chantelle.

We hope that not only will Chantelle’s food line be vegan, but she’ll remember to keep her perfume and make-up cruelty free and free from animal products too.

Chantelle is aiming for natural in several areas of her life, including ditching the fake hair, bronze tan, and after battling bulimia, now takes pride in what she calls her new beautiful and womanly figure.

Congratulations on the new and healthier you, Chantelle. Have a piece of vegan cake on us.

via dailymail.co.uk

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Okay, so she’s not addicted to the vegan lifestyle, but she does have addictions to one particular actress.  It’s more like confessions of a Gwyneth Paltrowaholic.

Leslie Bibb, who plays Alicia Billington, the rival to Isla Fisher’s character Rebecca Bloomwood, in Confessions of a Shopaholic, gushed over her admiration for Gwyneth Paltrow to the New York Post. Apparently, Gwyneth’s so cool, she’s a total tofu chicken winner dinner. Or something like that.

Leslie: Now it’s like, “Hey Gwyn, let’s talk about Kabbalah!” I still have a total girl crush though. That Gwyneth is a total winner, winner, chicken dinner.

PW: Ah, a Las Vegas lady!
Leslie: You know it’s from Vegas! Oh man, I’m sure Gwyneth would think I’m nuts for saying that.

PW: Well, she doesn’t eat chicken.
Leslie: [laughs] Of course, right, “I’m a vegan, I don’t get that joke.” OK, fine, you’re a winner, winner tofu chicken dinner! Better?

We know Gwyneth’s definitely not vegan. But oh, well.

We’ve never been called a winner tofu chicken dinner. It must definitely be a regional thing. Now we know how to compliment our Las Vegas fans.

Much love to you winner tofu chicken dinners.

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