Vegetarian Star

Russell Brand is addressing the rumor that he bought Katy Perry a tiger for their wedding, emphasizing not only is it against his ethics as a vegetarian, but it’s just plain dumb and dangerous!

“I’m a vegetarian, you don’t give people tigers, it’s stupid, it’s dangerous, and the tigers don’t like it,” Brand said.

Yes, having wild animals as pets leads to nothing but tragedy, as we’ve seen with Travis the Chimp and other stories, like the man in Harlem, New York, who kept an 8 foot long, 400-pound tiger in his apartment.

Police were tipped off when a neighbor complained of urine seeping through the floor into an adjacent apartment after kitty refused to use the little box on more than one occasion. The tiger was transferred to a sanctuary that won’t offer him a high-rise view of the city, but a more natural, safer place for him and humans.

Photo: PR Photos

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What do Russell Brand and bulls have in common? Well, they’re both “handsome fellows,” according to PETA India. And both Brand and bullocks are starting a new life.

The Indian branch of the animal rights group named a bullock after the actor who’s been nominated for Sexiest Vegetarian several times.

“The gift of a namesake is also fitting because just as Russell Brand embarks on his new life as a married man, Russell the bullock has also been given a new lease on life — the heavy loads he once pulled have been lifted from his shoulders for good.”

But, wait, doesn’t Brand getting married to Katy Perry and losing his bachelor’s status mean he’ll be carrying more on his shoulders from now on? Well, at least the bulls have it better as it looks as if a ban on bullock carts for certain transportation will be issued in Mumbai.

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Russell Brand and Katy Perry finally tied the knot recently in a ceremony that was vegan, according to several sources around the web.

The animals are thankful they weren’t eaten, but according to Ecorazzi, they may have wanted a little peace in the early morning hours, as Russell and Katy’s after party may have violated noise ordinances.

After the traditional Hindu wedding, guests stayed in the nearby Ranthambore National Park. Some of the guests reportedly played loud music until 2:30 AM, which violates state mandated noise pollution laws as it disturbs the wild animals in the area.

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Russell Brand claims to be a sober man now, but a recent statement about the appropriateness of wearing leather from the vegetarian makes us question what was in his soymilk that morning.

According to Hollywood Life, Brand said, “It’s cruel to kill animals just to have a snack. I mean, sometimes [I wear leather], but those animals gave up their lives very gratefully.”

Unfortunately, some vegetarians may believe that buying leather is harmless since the animals are going to be killed in the meat industry anyway. However, some sources say that the leather industry is one on its own and even helps subsidize factory farming, giving it a financial boost it couldn’t accomplish on its own. How?

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Russell Brand

Russell Brand has a new book out, Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal, a follow up to the autobiography My Booky Wook, which described much of Brand’s trials of sex and drug addiction and rehab. Brand took to Twitter to pose for a lovely unoffiical promo photo, showing his love for veggie snacks too.

A description from Amazon says Booky Wook 2 is told from a more sober Brand and “ushers in an unforgettable and raucous ride through chat shows, tabloid scandals, and Hollywood, all the while detailing Brand’s search for the contentment that fame can’t quite grant.”

Speaking of drug-free, sobriety and rehab, Brand never had a “relapse” in vegetarianism, as he discussed in My Booky Wook.

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Russell Brand learned the hard way how not asking for ingredients can turn a vegetarian’s meal sour. Or fishy.

The actor was sampling a dip while dining out when he realized it tasted like something formerly alive in the sea.

“About three days ago was the last time I ate an animal. I was in a restaurant and they have me some dips. One of them was taramosalata. I didn’t know and ate some and it tasted like disgusting fish,” Brand said.

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Perhaps Katy Perry and Russell Brand should put a few bottles of Bean-zyme on their wedding registry.

The “California Gurls” singer revealed Brand’s vegetarian diet of cruciferous vegetables and other high fiber foods leave her begging for a separate room during her fiance’s digestive time.

“Being a vegetarian his farts are the worst things ever. Lingering and revolting,” Perry was quoted by The Sun as saying.

“Then he tries to Dutch oven me! Just too gross,” she added. For you Urban Dictionary illiterate, more on that Dutch oven later. Hint: It has nothing to do with the smell of delicious baked bread coming from it.

Beano is the popular supplement for gas, but vegetarians won’t benefit one iota as it comes in a gelatin capsule. Luckily, it’s veggie friendly, staunch, anti-farting cousin, Bean-zyme is available.

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Katy Perry wants her next album to smell like meat and her breasts smelling like bacon.

“For my next album I’d like it to be about meat and I want to be on the cover wearing a bacon bikini. Also I want my records to smell of sausage or pork. CDs are over, but not if they smell original.”

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