Vegetarian Star

A company owned by former hunters is looking for food scientists to recreate the experience of road kill.

Hunter’s Vegetarian is based in a small town in Alabama, and partners Jim Simmons and Allison Montgomery aren’t satisfied with traditional faux meat found at grocery stores.

“I’m glad I turned vegetarian for my health, but I wouldn’t be lying if I told you I didn’t miss the occasional country critter,” said Simmons.

Simmons is referring to the dozens of squirrels, raccoons and other animals he’d hunt and come home and cook.

He dream might come true soon.

Montgomery, his girlfriend he met on a hunting trip, who also turned vegetarian, just happens to be the daughter of a very prominent scientist at a university who says faux squirrel is as easy to duplicate as soy burgers.

Montgomery’s parent is working on the project part time, while she and Simmons are giving input about the taste. The goal is to complete the final recipe by next year and begin marketing it to local health foods stores like Whole Foods.

“If you can make fake chicken, ham and turkey, why not make fake raccoons?” asked Simmons, adding that if the squirrel and raccoon loafs and tenders do well, they might expand their brand to deer and birds.

Note: This story is a bunch of vegan hogwash. But it’s April 1st, so what were you expecting?

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Stephen Colbert recently hosted Jonathan Safran Foer on The Colbert Report to discuss his latest book, Eating Animals.

Foer discussed the realities of how factory farms and the mass production of meat affects animals, giving the example that turkeys today don’t get it on.

“The Thanksgiving turkey isn’t even capable of sexually reproducing anymore,” Foer said.

When Colbert asked how turkeys multiply, Foer first joked that they are stimulated by porn.

Stimulated by PETA anti-fur ads featuring naked women, no doubt.

“They’re all artificially inseminated,” Foer claimed.

Not resisting the chance to offend, Colbert placed a plate of bacon in front of Foer, which Foer, keeping in theme with animal reproduction, labeled as merely, “flaccid.”

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As mentioned before, The Record reported that a man named Andrew Hunt will be writing weekly letters to Sarah Palin, sharing the benefits of a vegan lifestyle and recipes.

A writer at Slashfood heard this news and unfortunately, doesn’t agree with Hunt’s vegetarian agenda and suggests Sarah use her entrepreneurial spirit to profit from a lifestyle of loving meat.

Specifically, moose meat.

In his “letter” to Palin, he writes:

“I am writing to you, because I think a chain of patriotic restaurants inspired by your persona is exactly what this country needs, featuring an underrated ingredient that you have actually hunted. Delicious, lean, gamey moose”

“Imagine: a franchise of affordable restaurants with you as their spokes-governor — Sarah’s Moose Hut! Or International House of Moose! TGIMoose?”

“That’s right. Moose burgers. Moose stew. Moose cakes. Moose dumplings. Moose loaf. Moose kabobs. Moose casserole. Moose and potatoes. Moose lo mein. Moose tacos. The mind boggles.”

While The Veg Star can’t agree with ethics of the aforementioned business plan, in the true spirit of capitalism, International House of Moose would be Palin’s right to pursue.

One would hope she would at least meet a vegan halfway and offer faux breaded moose wings (deep fried in vegetable oil separately from the real thing) on the TGIMoose menu.

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Saturday Night Live featured a hilarious clip mocking Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz and Dave Matthews.

“Jason” walks in and “Jack” says “vegan cookies” and asks Jason what he’s been up to.

“Oh, the usual,” Jason says.

“Maintaining my avocado farm,” he added.

Jason’s recipe for chocomole containing chocolate, agave syrup and avocado might be even better than vegan cookies.

Try Jason’s chocomole after watching the clip!

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Saturday Night Live recently poked fun of Sarah McLachlan and the ASPCA commercials where her song “Angel” is the soundtrack behind some disturbing facts about animal cruelty.

“You agreed we weren’t going to talk about those creepy ASPCA commercials,” anchor Seth Meyers said.

The “Sarah” begins to sing Angel while pictures of dogs are shown in the background with facts like “this dog’s house is in foreclosure.”

It might be offensive, but hey, this clip is still giving the ASPCA publicity and that’s a great thing!

via Ecorazzi.com

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South Park will show an episode this week that highlights the Japanese dolphin Hunt in a satirical way.

Whale Whores will offer a twist on the Animal Planet television series Whale Wars, starring Stan and his family.

A synopsis:

“Stan and his family are spending his birthday at the Denver Aquarium where they will get to swim with the dolphins. Things turn bloody when the Japanese attack, kill all the dolphins and ruin Stan’s big day. There seems to be no end to the senseless killing. Stan takes on the cause to save the dolphins from the Japanese.”

Whale Whores is on Wednesday night on Comedy Central.

via Ecorazzi.com

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moar funny pictures

Always great when a LOL cat chooses vegetarian, but is this really the way to introduce one to vegetables?

I Can Has Veggie Cheezburger.

But hold the devil tomatoes.

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Vegetarian Spider "Bagheera kiplingi"

The vegetarian spider recently discovered, Bagheera kiplingi, made headlines days ago because of its tendency to eat plant leaves and not bugs.

However, more has been unearthed about this creature who’s carbon footprint is lowered not only by eating plants, but also by its choice to construct its home of eco friendly sustainable web material.

Bagheera kiplingi is quite the liberal.

From The Daily Mash:

“When we first came across it, it seemed to be hosting a poorly-attended seminar about women’s rights and press freedom in the former Yugoslavia.

“We then tried poking it with a stick to get it angry but it just presented us with a tiny cup of camomile tea and gave us some literature about Darfur.”

Of course, this is only one report. Others state the vegetarian spider is just off meat for awhile. Maybe it’s trying to cleanse.

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