Vegetarian Star

You’ve heard of the hit Lady Gaga song “Bad Romance,” but have you ever been in a “Cat Romance” starring Lady Meow Meow?

This video with the San Francisco SPCA has Lady Meow Meow asking, “Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Want a cat romance?” and urging animal lovers to go adopt a cat.

The San Francisco SPCA not only takes in homeless cats and dogs, but educates the public about issues such as neutering and spaying to reduce the number of these animals.

Take a look at the adoption promo and compare it with Gaga’s below, which also features a cat around minute 2:38 and some creepy,  hopefully fake bear skin being dragged across the floor at minute 3:40.

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Jesus In Seitan

Jesus has been found on trees, toast and other objects and now vegetarian Christians, scholars and others interested in the most talked about man from Biblical Times can now claim seeing the central figure of Christianity in seitan, which, ironically, is pronounced “Satan.”

Someone sent a photo to Belief Net and PETA president Ingrid Newkirk in an email, saying the image was discovered after unwrapping a package of prepared seitan.

“I couldn’t beleive [sic] what I saw! Its [sic] Jesus on the cross! I was showing it to my room mates and one of them said, “You’re all about PETA, send it to them!”…Thought it was a real sign for this image of Jesus to appear in my peaceful vegan meal–He was the one who said “Thou shall not kill” and I know He would be against bloody killing of animals in slaughter houses.”

Well said, and commenters on the site pretty much backed up the sentiments in the email.

“That’s cool that the person found Jesus in seitan. Today’s meat, egg and dairy factory farms are the complete opposite of what Jesus taught: kindness for all beings”

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Mallika Sherawat told the Times of India her brother said she’s a hopeless cause for marriage.

“(Vikram) says, “Who will marry you? Who will tolerate your tantrums and bad behavior?” Top it with my demand that I want a vegetarian yogi who meditates and neither smokes nor drinks.”

Sounds like her match could be Russell Simmons, vegan and yoga enthusiast who she’s shared some serious Twitter time with.

Not that we are in the business of matchmaking.

But there are several vegetarian websites that are.

If you’re not willing to lock lips with someone who’s got sausage residue on them, finding a vegetarian or vegan partner may be as simple as a mouse click.

Sites like Veggie Date, the more sustainable form of fishing–Veggie Fishing (with the horrible pun of “we’ll “hook” you up”), Vegetarian Passions and its completely animal free version, Vegan Passions and Ethical Singles all offer the Match.com experience sin carne.

There is someone who will put up with your temper tantrums.

And will make you vegan cupcakes to feel better.

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RANT 071: Control Freak Vegetarian Bitch

Project Rant | MySpace Video

Project Rant features actors reenacting complaints from the anonymous “rants and raves” placed on Craig’s List.

Control Freak Vegetarian Bitch was posted by someone who didn’t like his or her dinner date asking the manager if the bun for the veggie burger had dairy in it.

Or if the beans could be ordered without butter.

Or if the portobello mushroom cap was grilled on the same grill with meat.

“You make it impossible for me to enjoy myself at a restaurant. I know why you do this. You want to have some small bit of power so you can wield it like some sort of fu*king flag. I think this is the real reason why you are a vegetarian. You like bullying the wait staff into listing the ingredients of every item and how each one is prepared.”

“It’s so embarrassing to go out to eat with you because I know you’ll pull this sh*t.”

Well, well.

It’s so obvious this was written after a fight or breakup with the vegetarian significant other.

There’s more and it just gets nastier in the above video.

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Tofu Hunter game

And who said vegetarian was another word for lousy hunter?

Adult Swim has unveiled a game that proves vegetarians are the first in line to target and capture their prey of grains, seeds and soybean.

Tofu Hunter allows players to hunt down their blocks of curd or “tofu bucks” as they are called.

Before you begin, there is a disclaimer that the “game contains graphic depictions of violence against tofu.”

If you’re okay with that, just go ahead and click “next” to start the kind killin’!

Besides tofu, you can shoot trophy tofu, tofu hot dogs, seitan birds and soy milk containers for bonus points.

Head on over to Adult Swim to play the free online game.

Just don’t shoot any “doe tofu” or you will lose big time!

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Profanity and good food go together like vegan marshmallows and graham.

Maybe that’s why the developers of the online recipe generator, What the Fu*k Should I Make For Dinner? combined the two for a foul mouthed database of meals for all appetites.

The recipe generator gives you the option of choosing either vegetarian or non vegetarian food.

When you go to the home page, a suggestion is made, usually for meat like, “Try some fu*king spiced roast chicken breast.”

You then have the option of either:
1. Clicking on the suggestion for the recipe.
2. Clicking on “I don’t fu*king like that,” or
3. “I don’t fu*king eat meat.”

Choosing option #3 will then suggest various vegetarian dishes, prefixing them with phrases like, “Cook Up Some Fu*king” or “Why Don’t You Eat Some Fu*king” or “My Crunchy Granola Ass Wants Some Fu*king.”

All of these colorful words just to get a recipe for edamame hummus with spiced pita chips.

If you don’t like the current option, simply click on “I Don’t Fu*king Like That,” and the generator will give you another.

No clue why the developer felt the need to be so vulgar, but since it’s hard to find a recipe database that’s so vegetarian friendly, we think the NSFW friendliness can be forgiven.

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If you’ve ever been ribbed about why soy milk is called milk because it doesn’t come from a cow, here’s another name, albeit vulgar, you can start calling it.

The anchors of Good Day New York were having this discussion because the National Milk Producer’s Federation thinks only products that come from lactating animals should be categorized as milk.

Co-anchor Rosanna Scott suggested soy milk be called “Soy jizzum,” getting both a giggle and embarrassed look from both of her co-workers.

But soy milk does not come from male reproductive organs either.

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Christian Lander, founder and writer on the very popular and satirical Stuff White People Like blog, that launched millions of visits, thousands of discussions, a book deal and a dozen other “Stuff People Like” blogs, is the authority on what the subject of his humor–college educated, upper middle class, often liberal Caucasians–enjoys.

Lander jokingly told the Arkansas Times he predicts the next very environmentally friendly and sustainable trend among white people is gardening.

As a white person, he’s already tried it.

“Um, “growing your own food” is trending pretty hard. I spent $80 to grow two tomatoes last summer. They were terrible tomatoes, but I lied to myself and told myself they were delicious.”

Guess Lander didn’t bother consulting any Gardening Guides before planting those organic tomatoes.

Ironically, he says backlashes are another trend that might show up and vegetarians may feel the brunt of it.

“It was like the whole backlash against bacon after everyone wanted to go vegetarian, then people started getting annoyed with vegetarians so they went as far the other way as possible.”

Confusing, since #32 on the list of Stuff White People Like is Vegetarian/Veganism.

White, black, brown, purple and green people should get on this latest bandwagon and plant your own tomatoes, green beans, lettuce and everything else.

And if you haven’t already done #32 on the list, it’s time.

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