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Jockey Liam Hollins The Favorite To Brutally Whip Horse To Kentucky Derby Win

The Kentucky Derby ends today, much to the relief of animal lovers everywhere that know many horses don’t make it through the race uninjured–or alive.

The Onion has provided a little satire to the situtation, as news anchors provide commentary on the champion “Horse beaters,” and the techniques they use to make horses race faster in a sport where “there are no rules.”

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