Vegetarian Star

The Onion

Satirical news source The Onion, has written a hilarious piece on how elephants awe crowds at the circus, inserting random snide remarks about the circus’ treatment of the giant creatures and the resulting physical and psychological stress the animals endure.

Quotes from families that attended are recorded, such as the one from 5-year old Jonah Meeks, who, after “mistaking the elephants’ constant swaying for something that wasn’t a maladaptive behavior caused by serious psychological trauma,” said “I can dance like an elephant, too. Look at me!”

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Katy Perry arrived at gossip blogger Perez Hilton‘s 32 Carn-Evil themed birthday bash on top an elephant.

One has to wonder if Perry already had her social drinking experience before she got there, given her choice of transportation.

Besides the obvious unanswered questions like where she parked it, did it like the hors d’ oeuvres, and did it defecate in the appropriate elephant litter box, you have to wonder how the pachyderm coped with all the noise and excitement of the party.

Commenters on PeoplePets figured the festivities were a real downer–for the elephant.

“from atop the elephant, who, according to one witness, “looked perturbed.” I’m sure the poor elephant was..”

“Katy Perry is quite the weirdo isn’t she… always out for the shock factor……Why does she have to exploit animals when doing so? Elephants should be left in the wild or a zoo if that is the last resort, not in a Circus, and not for hire for entertainment purposes. Why don’t these people get a real life!”

Whether the elephant was perturbed from the party entirely or just Lady Gaga‘s newest outfit was not reported.

The next time Perry’s invited to a party, she should leave the elephant at home in the wild or a sanctuary.

It doesn’t mind being a homebody.

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