Quantcast Vegetarian StarBlair River

Blair River "Heart Attack Grill"

Blair River, the spokesman for Heart Attack Grill, a restaurant known for its unhealthy, super-sized fatty meals like the Quadruple Bypass Burger and Flatliner Fries, has died at the age of 29.

Besides promoting dishes with names to match the medical conditions one might develop if they ate there regularly, Heart Attack Grill offered anyone who weighed over 350 pounds free food.

Some are pointing a finger to flu or pneumonia as the reason for River’s death.

According to some experts, his weight–575 pounds–may have played a factor in him succumbing to the virus. Yes, along with high blood pressure and heart disease, washing down fries cooked in pure lard with the butterfat shake may prevent some from fighting off what simply throws everyone else in bed for a week or two.

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