Vegetarian Star

Jesus In Seitan

Jesus has been found on trees, toast and other objects and now vegetarian Christians, scholars and others interested in the most talked about man from Biblical Times can now claim seeing the central figure of Christianity in seitan, which, ironically, is pronounced “Satan.”

Someone sent a photo to Belief Net and PETA president Ingrid Newkirk in an email, saying the image was discovered after unwrapping a package of prepared seitan.

“I couldn’t beleive [sic] what I saw! Its [sic] Jesus on the cross! I was showing it to my room mates and one of them said, “You’re all about PETA, send it to them!”…Thought it was a real sign for this image of Jesus to appear in my peaceful vegan meal–He was the one who said “Thou shall not kill” and I know He would be against bloody killing of animals in slaughter houses.”

Well said, and commenters on the site pretty much backed up the sentiments in the email.

“That’s cool that the person found Jesus in seitan. Today’s meat, egg and dairy factory farms are the complete opposite of what Jesus taught: kindness for all beings”

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So Moby, George Bush and Jesus are all over at Moby’s house sitting in the living room and George gets hungry.

There really is no punchline to this, just a fantasy of the bald vegan musician he told to Rachael Ray, when he revealed his kitchen is stocked full of condiments and vitamins.

“You know, I think it would be nice to have George Bush and Jesus over for dinner,” Moby said.

What would he serve for the two leaders?

“Well, George spent a lot of time in Texas, so I’d make some rice and beans and salsa, maybe some guacamole,” Moby said. “I’m not a particularly good cook, but I can make reasonably palatable bachelor food.”

Moby’s Mexican fare may need a few miracles before it’s palatable, but it would definitely answer some scholars question of whether Jesus was a vegetarian.

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