Vegetarian Star

Bob’s Burgers is a new series on Fox about a family ran burger business and all the hilarity that ensues during a normal workweek at a small-owned business. With the word “burger” in the title, you know it’s no vegetarian paradise, but even if you eat meat, you might find your next burger joint visit revolting if the owners are anything like the Belcher family.

Take episode one, for example. Tina Belcher, one of Bob’s daughters, announces she has a rash in her pubic region and states she might not be good with the grill due to the fact one hand will be tied up scratching the region.

Next door appears to be either a PETA or an anti-PETA office, with the acronym PFETA (People For Eating Tasty Animals?). There’s a “Meat is Murder” sticker on the window, but we’re still unsure if this is a legitimate AR office or a mockery that’s been targeted. On the other side is a crematorium (where the regular customers go earlier than most, we’re sure).

The special for one day was so inappropriately titled “The Child Molester Burger” because it comes with a piece of candy to lure customers to it.

To top it all off, the health inspector, responding to a rumor that Bob’s puts human remains in its burgers (maybe someone found a strand of Tina’s pubic hair in there), says that’s only okay if the burgers contain the FDA allowed amount of 4% or less human flesh in them.

Bob’s Burgers is still funny because we’re dealing with cartoon characters. However, a recent study found kids in real life should stay clear of all burgers even if they aren’t associated with child molesters. Children who eat more than 3 burgers per week may be at a higher risk for asthma and wheezing. There’s no data on whether or not these burgers also give them pubic rashes. Maybe those are the patties with human remains in them.

Full episode one of Bob’s Burgers can be seen below.

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