Vegetarian Star

Gwyneth Paltrow’s website Goop is a hit and miss for the Veg Star.

On the one hand, we find way too many recipes for bird burgers showing up on there.

Then again, we have to forgive a gal who puts Vegenaise vegan mayo on a vegan B.L.T. sandwich with avocado.

Vanity Fair has taken the opportunity to mock Goop, and here are a few veg related highlights:

Do
“Many of you have asked if I have any tips on how to get leggings on quicker. My in-house leggings guru advises rubbing onto your legs a paste made from five spoonfuls of extra-virgin olive oil, turbinado sugar, and coarsely ground fair-trade coffee. If you have any further problems, then next week I’ll be recommending a truly great creative-leggings clinic.”

See
“Next week, we learn to peel a banana with a world-expert fruit psychologist.”

Be
“Next week, we learn to make yummy blueberry-and-goat’s-rennet ice cream served with arugula and coconut water.”

Get
“At one end of the room the kids are crying out for you to teach them how to make that truly great detox teriyaki salad with miso-nettle dressing.”

“Meanwhile, you are desperately trying to get your butt in great shape while nourishing your inner aspect by learning how to fold napkins in a way that will make them more ecologically sustainable.”

Read the entire mock Goop newsletter at vanityfair.com.

via celebitchy.com

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