Vegetarian Star

Mark Bittman, the vegan until dinner flexitarian advocate, recently discovered joy in creating Ma Po Tofu without the pork.

He described his experience in the New York Times:

“First I started a batch of the mixed grains. Then I slow-cooked about 20 of the peppercorns in oil (I was too lazy to grind them, another alternative), with three dried chiles. I removed them when the oil was fragrant (no one wants to bite on a peppercorn). Into that oil, I stirred about a quarter cup of the bean paste, which I realized for the first time is a cousin of miso.”

“I tasted the tofu thing, and added both soy sauce and salt. I scooped some grains in the dish – thanks to the black and brown rice and black sesame seeds they looked vaguely like pork (as it happened; no planning there, but I’m not lying either) – and topped it with the tofu mix. And the thing was so good I made it again two days later.”

Sounds like Mark learned being vegan at dinner’s not so bad either.

If you’re looking to attempt vegan ma po tofu, try this recipe any time of day.

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Come again?

No, you heard correctly. Someone wants to make a George Clooney flavored tofu. Oh, come on, you know who.

PETA paparazzi somehow got ahold of a gym towel that was soaked in the actor’s sweat. Through magic vegetarian chants (well, actually it’s a combination of gas chromatography and mass spectrometry) chemists can isolate his odor characteristics, which can be extracted and blended into your tofu smoothie or stir fry.

Yep, that’ll get people to go vegetarian.

G to the R to the O to the double S!

Says PETA from its blog:

“Some people don’t try tofu because they expect it to taste bland, but we know it can absorb any taste—so CloFu could make your taste buds and your heart melt. Of course, what’s even better is that after everyone gets a piece of George and realizes how delicious tofu truly is, diets will be revolutionized.”

The group wrote to Clooney personally, asking him what he thought of the idea:

“We have been offered some of your perspiration, apparently taken from a towel at a gym in Washington, D.C. We are big fans, and this prospect has given us an interesting idea that we hope will amuse you too.”

“The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney–flavored tofu (CloFu). We could do that and give the tofu away.”

Well, if it’s free…the economy is getting tough, you know.

Possibly Related Posts:

• Chrissy Teigen Failed Vegan Experiment
• Mia Evans Is A “Masterchef Junior” Vegetarian Star
• Holly Madison Enjoys Vegan Smoothie From M Cafe In Beverly Hills
• Controversy Over Pro-Vegeterian Curriculum In Schools
• Ellie Goulding Creates Protein Bar “Everlasting Joy” With GoMacro