“The Onion” Publishes Letter From Humane Meat Farmer
Written by Vegetarian Star on January 23rd, 2013 in Animal Issues, Food & Drink, Not So Vegetarian.
The Onion has published a hilarious piece mocking the “humane meat” industry.
In “We Raise All Our Beef Humanely On Open Pasture And Then We Hang Them Upside Down And Slash Their Throats,” livestock farmers pledge to deliver many things to today’s environmentally conscious consumer and animal welfare advocate, including the, “highest quality beef from cows that are healthy, active, and eventually suspended fully conscious inside a facility thick with hot, blood-choked air and the frantic bellows of dangling, profoundly fearful animals.”
The most important features to look for when choosing humane meat are promised from the association, including:
- entirely free range until they are “20 months old or hit 1,300 pounds, whichever comes first.”
- meat that is freshly butchered, one symbol of a good quality control check being the “dilated, terror-filled eyes” visible on the animal.
- the opportunity to support more eco-friendly farming, as the “blood, body fluids, and trimmings” from these cows are GMO, hormone and anti-biotic free.
If a consumer still isn’t convinced or has trouble finding this happy meat at the grocery, they can be sure they are purchasing the best product by checking for the “smiling cow on the label.”
Learn more about buying better quality meat for your next food shopping trip or just make life easier–forget about learning the humane labels and buy some tofu instead.
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