Vegetarian Star

We love veggie burger boxes stashed in a politician’s freezer like any other veg, but when those packages are used for illegal activity, it’s a double-edged sword of publicity for the meatless life.

Former Democratic Representative for Louisiana William Jefferson was found guilty of doing shady business deals and storing his compensation in veggie burger packages in the freezer. After taking money from people looking to broker deals in Africa, Jefferson would store it in the freezer. It would later be sent to the vice president of Nigeria in hopes of influencing a telecommunications deal that would financially benefit Jefferson’s family.

How much “cold” cash did officials say Jefferson stashed in the freezer? $90,000!

Jefferson was convicted of 11 of 16 counts he was charged with, sentenced to 13 years in prison, but is now free pending appeal. The case is expected to be heard again sometime in 2011.

The big questions still remain.

Is Jefferson a vegetarian, vegan or flex when  he’s interested in, ahem, saving money? Does he like his veggie burgers soy, barbecued, grilled or microwaved? Did he overeat veggie burgers sometimes in order to make room for more cash? Did the lucrative thought of being able to finance he and his family’s veggie burger habit for a lifetime draw him to the dark side?

Finally, what darn brand of meatless patties does he prefer?

We may never know the entire truth behind these questions, but if Jefferson is sent back to prison next year, he better hope for a penitentiary that specializes in penne pasta sin carne.

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