Adam Jones: Falling Vegan Burgers Kill Vegetarians In Armageddon
Written by Vegetarian Star on January 11th, 2009 in Athletes-Games-Sports, Not So Vegetarian.
Professional motocross racer Adam Jones played the role of smart-aleck recently.
The History Channel is hosting Armageddon week and Ryan Leyba at ESPN wanted to get Jones’ opinion on how the world will come to an end.
Leyba: I’d like to think that it’s going to rain hot dogs, pizza and candy and everyone is going to eat themselves to death.
Jones: Well if hot dogs, pizza and candy fell from the sky the only way the world would end is if we had a massive celebration until we ate so much pizza and hot dogs our hearts stopped beating.
Of course then some vegan burgers would also have to fall from the sky to kill all our non-carnivorous friends.
Not sure if Adam thinks gorging on vegan burgers produces the same health effect as the real thing or not. Maybe he just thinks they’ll fall from the sky and knock us on the head.
If given the choice between death by heart failure from hot dogs or vegan burgers knocking you out cold, a vegan burger asteroid has got to be the better option. It’s quick, painless, and you’ll never know what hit you.
It doesn’t matter anyway, because according to Jones, Joaquin Phoenix and Mel Gibson, who would normally be around to save us, will be absent and the aliens will eat us.
All the more reason to be killed by a falling vegan burger. We hear cannibalistic death is horrible.
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