Vegetarian Star

Eric Clapton is not a social butterfly. But when he shoots a butterfly, or other creatures perched in trees or roaming on the ground, he gets the boost of what Chardonnay does for the shy and what doctors claim Paxil does for the socially phobic.

“I’m not really that gregarious,” he said, according to Contact Music. “And shooting with groups of people up and down the country has taught me a lot about how to get on with my fellow human beings.”

Unless you shoot with on his way out of office Vice President Dick Cheney. Then, you’re taught a lot about how many different places a bullet can lodge in the body without causing permanent damage.

This is starting to make Pamela Anderson sound like a doctorate candidate now, with her theory that men shoot because there’s something wrong with their own equipment. You can probably guess she was talking about a different gun, but still the elements are there.

Clapton can’t get it on socially, so he hunts for fun to feel good, thus turning him into the life of the backwoods party.

There are a plethora of other activities to help bond with humans, like a nature walk without the shoot ups, an afternoon of watching sports, or even a night at the, ahem, “gentleman’s club.”

But for Clapton, who also co-owns a hunting and fishing supply store, it’s unfortunate he can only get his game on by targeting other game.

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