Vegetarian Star

Photo: Googie man on Wikimedia Commons

Spam is never appealing, whether it’s creamed pork shoulder or 100 emails a day offering you “enhancement” drugs.

That’s why when PETA found out Philadelphia Phillies Outfielder Shane Victorino has a favorite dish consisting of Spam, rice blocks, and nori, they decided to “spam” him with one of their famous letters beseeching meat loving celebrities to change their ways.

Spam Musubi is a Hawaiian (Victorino’s home state) favorite, and is your equivalent of Spam sushi. Gross! An excerpt from the letter:

As you might know, PETA has named Citizens Bank Ballpark the Most Vegetarian Friendly Ballpark two years in a row for its astounding variety of protein-packed, delicious animal-friendly fare, including mock-chicken sandwiches, “crab-free crab cakes,” Philly faux-steak sandwiches, veggie dogs, and flame-grilled Gardenburgers! We urge you to abandon the Spam, take advantage of the park’s delicious veggie options, and consider joining other compassionate athletes–including John Salley, Ricky Williams, and Tony Gonzalez–in healthy and humane vegetarian eating.

PETA also discusses the results of their investigation of a factory farm that breeds pigs for Hormel, the company that produces Spam. Some details of the undercover stint include a worker shoving a stick in a sow’s vagina, beating pigs with metal rods, poking at their eyes with clothespins, and beating one female pig saying, “You gotta beat on the bitch. Make her cry.”

Okaaaaaay. While we don’t see the connection as to how making the b*#ch cry produces better Spam (or why we need to even produce Spam, for that matter), we do agree with what PETA assistant director Dan Shannon said in a press release:

“If Shane likes Spam a lot, he should buy tickets to the Broadway play but leave it off his dinner plate.”

Or, to put it in the words of a pig factory farm worker, “Leave that b*#ch alone!”

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