Vegetarian Star

Did you catch Ruben Studdard on the American Idol results show last night?

The camera may add 10 pounds, but that’s no problem for Studdard, who’s lost about 100!

When Ryan Seacrest told Studdard he looked great and asked what his secret was, Studdard replied, “I’m a vegan now, man. Working out everyday.”

Studdard has been a vegan for about six months and said on the Wendy Williams show he enjoys making vegan soul food at home.

Can we still vote for this guy every week?

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In honor of both April Fool’s and Easter approaching, we bring you news courtesy of The Spoof.

Although scholars have long thought The Last Supper consisted of bread and wine, new evidence suggests Jesus and the apostles ate at a Burger Queen restaurant in East Jerusalem.

All had burger, fries and diet coke, except for Judas, the “creepy” vegan.

“Judas acted like a complete prick and insisted on lecturing the fast-food clerk on the evils of eating meat and the virtues of vegetarianism. He ordered a salad with French dressing, just hours before making the worst betrayal in human history. Judas was a typical vegan creep.”

After Jesus raised his hamburger bun over his head and turned it into his body and turned his Diet Coke into blood, The Spoof reports that “everyone soon lost their appetite and left the Burger Queen.”

These new findings have prompted the Vatican to team up with Burger Queen to open franchises at all Catholic churches.

Just hope a meatless BQ makes the menu, cause creepy vegans say Hail Marys too, especially when forced to enter a burger restaurant with non vegetarian friends.

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A company owned by former hunters is looking for food scientists to recreate the experience of road kill.

Hunter’s Vegetarian is based in a small town in Alabama, and partners Jim Simmons and Allison Montgomery aren’t satisfied with traditional faux meat found at grocery stores.

“I’m glad I turned vegetarian for my health, but I wouldn’t be lying if I told you I didn’t miss the occasional country critter,” said Simmons.

Simmons is referring to the dozens of squirrels, raccoons and other animals he’d hunt and come home and cook.

He dream might come true soon.

Montgomery, his girlfriend he met on a hunting trip, who also turned vegetarian, just happens to be the daughter of a very prominent scientist at a university who says faux squirrel is as easy to duplicate as soy burgers.

Montgomery’s parent is working on the project part time, while she and Simmons are giving input about the taste. The goal is to complete the final recipe by next year and begin marketing it to local health foods stores like Whole Foods.

“If you can make fake chicken, ham and turkey, why not make fake raccoons?” asked Simmons, adding that if the squirrel and raccoon loafs and tenders do well, they might expand their brand to deer and birds.

Note: This story is a bunch of vegan hogwash. But it’s April 1st, so what were you expecting?

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Mayim Bialik has become the official woman of the house and gotten her husband to stop eating meat!

The former Blossom actress and PhD holder told Parent Dish, “My husband and I read “Eating Animals” by Jonathan Safran Foer, and my husband has not eaten meat for four months.”

Similarly, Mayim’s other two favorite men are following dad’s lead.

“The boys do not eat dairy or meat or eggs. We also have a kosher home.”

Mayim’s method for getting her family to adopt a meatless lifestyle is accomplished through education, rather than by setting hard fast rules that are expected to be followed.

“It’s actually helpful that my son understands that different people eat different things for different reasons.”

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Madonna is set to release her new teen clothing line named Material Girl.

The 1980s Material Girl probably got teenage daughter Lourdes Leon‘s advice on the new line, considering every other fashion designer does.

Madonna told US Magazine, “She also comes to my photo and video shoots, pulls outfits together and gives her input to a lot of my fashion-designer friends. Whether it’s Marc Jacobs or Stella McCartney, they always ask her what she thinks.”

If Lourdes gives Stella McCartney the thumbs up or down, she may be one step ahead of her mother’s sense of style by appreciating fashions created without leather or fur.

Madonna was criticized a few years back for wearing a fur coat made from chinchillas.

Lourdes played a big part in the Material Girl clothing line.

“I’ve been involved in business meetings, but Lola’s really doing the work. I just sit in the corner on my BlackBerry.”

Let’s hope Lourdes continues to take the wheel in this teen fashion line and steer far away from any from the animal hide lane.

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Indian-born billionaire Pankaj Oswal and his socialite wife Radhika have hired contractors to build a $70 billion dollar mansion and they are banning the workers from eating meat.

“She still wants them to build her $70 million mansion, but she’s telling them what they’re going to eat . . . it’s wrong,” said Construction, Forestry, Mining and Energy Union Western Australian assistant secretary Joe McDonald, who called the ban “absolutely wrong.”

“I respect everybody’s right to practise their religion, but I totally disagree with anyone forcing it on others.

“If people are working on the job and they want to have a ham sandwich or a bacon and egg sandwich, they should have one.”

Calm down now, Joe.

There is a meat ban. No where did it say the Oswals were vegan.

The Oswals are vegetarians for both religious and other reasons and Mrs. Oswal says that the meat industry “rapes the earth” and by continuing to eat meat you are creating a vicious cycle.

Sources say some workers at the site are eating meat out of spite.

In a perfect world, an employer would let you do as you please, but unfortunately rules for working, dressing and behaving usually are included in the paycheck package.

If what goes in the workers mouth during lunchtime is regulated, they should relax in knowing it’s only an eight hour shift.

And better hope the vegetarian Trumps don’t have to come back to say, “You’re fired!”

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So Moby, George Bush and Jesus are all over at Moby’s house sitting in the living room and George gets hungry.

There really is no punchline to this, just a fantasy of the bald vegan musician he told to Rachael Ray, when he revealed his kitchen is stocked full of condiments and vitamins.

“You know, I think it would be nice to have George Bush and Jesus over for dinner,” Moby said.

What would he serve for the two leaders?

“Well, George spent a lot of time in Texas, so I’d make some rice and beans and salsa, maybe some guacamole,” Moby said. “I’m not a particularly good cook, but I can make reasonably palatable bachelor food.”

Moby’s Mexican fare may need a few miracles before it’s palatable, but it would definitely answer some scholars question of whether Jesus was a vegetarian.

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Todd Wilbur

Todd Wilbur, author of Top Secret Recipes, has a knack for duplicating entrees from restaurants like Olive Garden or Applebee’s without getting the written instructions.

His cloning of the Big Mac and other classics has sold him several million books and earned him appearances on Oprah, MTV News and Live with Regis and Kathy Lee.

To get recipes down, Wilbur will try several tricks, such as sitting really close to the kitchen to watch (you’d think the places would learn to recognize him and give him the boot) and even pretending to be a strict vegetarian or vegan to see if an item has animal ingredients in it.

Vegetarians could sure use him in a restaurant audit.

Hidden items like egg whites and chicken broth discovered in your favorite dish a year after you eat it religiously would happen no more if Wilbur served as veg detective, uncovering the truth at mainstream eateries that offer veggie items and even meatless restaurants which make vegan claims about that macaroni and cheese that still leaves your stomach feeling like you had a shot of lactose.

“I found this niche that made [cooking] fun and different and a game,” Wilbur told Las Vegas Weekly. “And that’s what I like — games,” Wilbur says. “I haven’t gone through Dumpsters yet, but I’m not above that.”

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